Hale Kilinahe: The Journal

MAY 5, 1998 Katie keeps changing every day. She was squeaking today. It's not quite fussing, but more like an attempt to make baby exclamations. She's a different baby every week, it seems. She's outgrowing many of her clothes, which is a bummer, because she hardly got to wear a lot of them. On Friday afternoon, Ryan came home early and we went to Ala Moana beach park. First, we took a slow walk around the jogging path. Then we left to eat dinner at the shopping center with plans to go back to the park. We went back, and I got to wade up to my thighs in the ocean. It felt like such an indulgence. I haven't been to a beach since the day before Katie was born. It was such a wonderful day; sunny and cool and bright. It was Lei Day, and I had dressed Katie earlier in the day in a colorful Hawaiian print diaper shirt before I remembered the significance of the day. Some friends of my father-in-law came over on Sunday and brought some lovely baby toys. A double-handled rattle with a mirror on one side and a smiley face with a squeaky nose on the other; a regular rattle with three rings around it, and a couple others. Katie loves the mirror, although I'm not sure if she realizes that the face looking back at her is her own. I obsess about the time I spend with her--I worry that I'm not playing with her enough, or not doing it right. We're hosting the Miss Universe pagent next week. Were I not nursing, I'd go on a hunger strike. The state is paying 3.3 million bucks for the privilege, while the homeless population here is higher than ever and twenty thousand people have been laid off from their jobs. Not to mention that beauty pagents are a sexist, morally reprehensible practice. The media here are so stupid that they don't even notice what a hypocrisy this is and act as if the Pope was coming. Call me a bitter old feminist, but there's no denying that the 3.3 milliom big ones could have been used to improved the sorry-ass condition of this state. I go back to work in about two weeks. I'll miss Katie so, so much. I can't believe it's such a difficult thing to do. Mothers have to face this all the time now and you hear so much about it that you don't appreciate what a big deal it is until it's your job and your baby. < BACK | TOP | NEXT >