[ Composition Book - Scrawlings of a mom in paradise. ]

June 16, 2005
the heart is an unruly little chihuahua
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Zac will be attending preschool starting in July.

That is to say, he shows signs of a developmental delay after all and requires help.

I said before that school would be good for him, and I still think so, but when they whipped out the form with his scores from his evaluations and told me what he needed, I took it a little harder than I thought I would. I've always wondered if things with Zac could have gone differently‑ maybe if I'd made them perform the C-section two hours earlier; if I'd quit working right after I took the pregnancy test; if I'd done x, y, or z, he wouldn't have any problems. Of course, that's all pretty much irrelevant now. Nothing I can do about any of that. But I know one thing for sure: nothing makes a person feel shittier than hearing perfectly nice, well-meaning people tell him that there's something wrong with his kid.

still loving Dancing With the Stars. That female judge is soooo jealous of Kelly.

While I was on the phone with my dad sharing the news, he gave me some news of his own. He is diabetic. The worst part is that it's not exactly a surprise. Given his weight and all the stuff that keeps his activity level so low, it was a question of when. Luckily, he doesn't need insulin and it appears to be easily controlled by diet. He's lost five pounds since he was diagnosed two weeks ago.

and who the hell tangoes to "Toxic"? Whoever picks the music for that show needs to watch several hundred hours of movies and Carmen. And not the MTV version.

I grew up in a hick town. I lived in the middle of the state, but it might as well have been the middle of nowhere. Yankees driving down to Orlando often stop in town to grab a bite and maybe spend the night. As such, we had zillions of sub-par chain restaurants. You knew that your date was a real catch if he took you to the Olive Garden.

You got any sprinkles or cake-decorating stuff in your kitchen? Look on the back. Says "Ocala, FL" somewhere on the back, doesn't it? Yep. They make all of the world's cake-and-cookie-frosting-type stuff, I think. There's also a thriving emergency equipment industry, too. That's it. That's my hometown, in a nutshell.

When I moved to Hawaii, I knew how lucky I was. Everything is so special. Unique. People save their whole loves to come here, and here I was, twenty-one and in love.

So you can understand why this kind of thing makes me so sad. Starbucks and 7-Elevens everywhere, replacing mom-and-pop plate lunch restaurants. It's depressing. And people like it that way.

And it's not just the restaurants. It's stuff like this. And this. I feel like I wound up in a bigger version of Ocala sometimes.

Man, I need to go to the beach.


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© 1997-2005 Jennifer Ozawa/Ozawa.Org · E-Mail: jen@ozawa.org [ PGP ] · Last Modified: June 16, 2005