[ Composition Book - Scrawlings of a mom in paradise. ]

July 05, 2005
put a cork in it, Zane
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There are still sick people in my house. Sick people in my family make me crazy. Especially thirty-year-old boys. Thirty-year-old boys are the worst because they won't go to the doctor when you tell them to, so by the time you decide to take matters into your own hands and make them go, their problems are worse.

Ryan and Zac are both ill. Zac has a very bad stomach bug. Ryan apparently has pneumonia. Ryan's diagnosis is somewhat troublesome, considering that at some point in the last two years, everyone except Alex has had it. Do four people just all get pneumonia within two years of each other? Am I looking at something really sinister and bad? Honestly, I'm imagining all sorts of horrible things. I'm becoming quite the germaphobe, so I doubt lax cleaning practices are the issue. I really feel I need to know.

in the ear: "Take Me With U" by Marshall Crenshaw. One of the most brilliant covers ever

Katie's never spent the night away from home before. She's hung out with grandma overnight once or twice, but she's never been in the care of someone not related to her. Part of her summer fun program at the Y is an overnighter at a camp. As the weeks went by and the date drew near, Katie expressed a bit of trepidation. By the time today arrived, she was terrified. But I kept on talking it up; encouraging her to go, but stressing that it was up to her.

I want her to go. I want her to enjoy being a kid while it lasts. I never camped out when I was her age and I think it's an important step for a kid to be free of the 'rents now and then.

Still, I wasn't relishing the idea. I "forgot" to gather her stuff until the absolute last minute this morning. I was so sure she'd decide not to go. And honestly, I was secretly hoping in a tiny little corner of my heart that she would. But when she finally said, "okay, Mom, I'll go" I jumped up and packed her bags in record time.

I'm going to miss her. It's going to be awfully quiet in here. And as I was dropping her off, I wondered if I should stay for a minute or two and sneak away quietly or just kiss her and run. Then I spotted a flyer on the wall: the trip was moved to tomorrow. Aaaargh!


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