Posted to Teevee at 04:16 PM on Sep 20, 2005
Bad. Cop Rock bad.
Usually, I watch a minimum of three episodes of any TV show before I write about it. I want to be completely impartial and get a really good idea of what a show is all about before I pass judgement.
This show is so, so awful I could watch only ten minutes of it before I deleted it from my TiVO forever. It is full of the most hideously cliched and hackneyed writing ever heard on a sitcom. It makes Friends look like Sports Night. Hell, it probably even makes Emeril Lagasse's short-lived sitcom look like Masterpiece Theater.
The most offensive part of Kitchen Confidential is that it has little or nothing to do with the (excellent) book of the same name. Say what you want about Tony Bourdain; but he can write his ass off. Tony's name doesn't appear anywhere near the writing credits. In fact, the only resemblance this show bears to Bourdain's book is the last name of the protagonist, who, may I add, is a whiny, prissy baby. One could say he's the male Carrie Bradshaw. Oh, wait, look who's name is in the writing credits! It's Darren Star, creator of Sex and the City! Quelle surprise!
Predictably, the female characters are all either dumb bimbos or ball-busters. Not a single subtle, three-dimensional role in the bunch.
In the first episode, hilarious hijinks ensue when a food critic is rudely turned away at the door. You know those ridiculous situations in sitcoms that could be avoided if one character made himself more plain to another character and the lack of understanding is just so implausible that you're rolling your eyes at the level of stupidity? The storyline with the food critic is the grandaddy of all of those. This one is just so completely absurd and random it feels like a bad Saturday Night Live sketch.
Then an uptight newbie chef gets a finger lopped off. And that's when I went to the "now playing" menu and sent this pathetic waste of hard-drive space to DVR heaven. I have the TiVo set to record next week's, but I'm not getting my hopes up.
Now I'm not kicking myself for missing this last night. And they let this come on after Arrested Development? Eh. Thank goodness my antenna doesn't pick up Fox too well lately...
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