You need to go away. Write crappy ballads about your ex-boyfriend all you want. Knock yourself out. Turn every chorus of every one of your songs into "maaaa-aa-aaa-ry meeeeeeee! I miss you Tooooooo-n-eeeee!" You are just so average in every way, I can ignore you. Allow me to warn you: Leave my 80's new wave songs alone. You hear? Nobody wants to hear you creak along to "It's My Life" in your little-girl non-voice. And you're not twelve. So stop acting like it. And by the way, I liked you better when you were named Madonna.

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