A complete list of airports I've travelled through: Honolulu — Frankly, our airport never fails to surprise me with its skankiness. You'd think a world-class travel destination would have a prettier airport. The state folks should take a cue from the producers of "Lost" and turn the convention center into the airport. Hilo, HI — the second smallest airport in the universe. Still, I always think of it fondly because I love the big island so much. Kona, HI — The one time I went through Kona, they loaded us on the plane on the tarmac. I think the Kona airport has since moved to another location. Molokai, HI — the smallest airport in the universe Maui, HI — I don't remember much about the Maui airport. I wish I could say it was because I was still hung over from a sun-drenched, debauched week of partying, but it's not. Los Angeles — I hate L.A. like Ryan hates Narita in Japan. The eighth circle of airport hell. San Francisco — pretty decent. Lots of artwork and colorful rugs Dallas — eh. Big. Chicago (O' Hare) — very cold and very pretty. Neon galore Minneapolis — cramped St. Louis — big and confusing. The funny thing about St. Louis is as you approach it from the air, it's a little like a pimple. A very small, prominent city in the middle of absolutely flat, brown land. Memphis — nice. May be my favorite. Atlanta — HUGE. Bigger than L.A., I think. Orlando — Clean and corporate. I like it, but maybe that's because when I get there, I'm on my way to my folks' Portsmouth, VA — teeny. Reminded me of the Hilo airport.

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