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July 30, 2002
holy cow! you just fell on Aerosmith!
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It's really freaking hot today. And I still have to walk to Kapiolani hospital for an appointment.

Hopefully, by now, you know about Zac's condition. There's good news, though. The neurosurgeon consulted with the plastic surgeon yesterday and the plastic surgeon thinks that they can fix the problem with only one operation. I was really dreading the second procedure; getting him through the first one and seeing him recover and then doing it all over again.

I really didn't want to write about Zac's problem. I felt strange about sharing something so personal. I really hoped it would fix itself so I didn't have to mention it. But, knowing my husband as I do, I knew he would want to write about it, if only just to have a record of how things happened. So now, I guess I'm just putting it out there, for the record, since someone might wonder why Zac's mother, of all people, would just keep silent about the whole subject, not even acknowledging that something was amiss.

Part of the reason is this: I honestly, really fell that this is no big deal. His condition is, as I've been told, not rare. And he is such a tough guy. He's way more sturdy than Katie was at his age. I'm confident that this will just be a story we tell later on, and we'll have forgotten how freaked out we were.

Things could have turned out so differntly at so many junctures. They suggested that I get an amniocentisis because one of those pre-natal blood tests came back somewhat suspicious. Amnio carries a substantial risk of miscarriage. I turned it down, for that reason alone, but I wonder: what if I had done it? What if I had miscarried? But I didn't miscarry, and I'm grateful that he's here.

Anyway, thanks to all of you for your concern and advice.


I'm glad to hear things are looking better. If there is anything I can do for you guys, I'd be glad to help. Not that I'm terribly useful or anything, but I might make a decent personal chef or something :)

Posted by: lisa at July 30, 2002 02:36 PM

There's nothing at all wrong with a mother not mentioning something she considers personal! You have every right to say or not say. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way--trust your instincts. Serious, if you guys ever want some Big Island goodies, just let us know! My philosophy is "food makes it better" :)

Posted by: ali at July 30, 2002 10:02 PM

Glad to hear the good news - and what Ali said, too. Here's hoping in all good faith that Zac will pull through, eventually - he sounds like a great kid with even greater things ahead of him. Take care and God bless. (PS - I just tm'ed you in my latest entry!)

Posted by: Stella at August 2, 2002 08:23 PM

Hee! Thanks, Stella!

And everyone else who's left such kind words here and on Ryan's site.

Posted by: Jen at August 2, 2002 09:59 PM

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