[ Composition Book - Scrawlings of a mom in paradise. ]

October 17, 2002
we're back
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We're home.

Thank God.

I hate hospitals. If I never see the inside of another hospital again in my life, it'll be too soon.

I realize now that there was a lot I didn't know about what they were going to do to Zac, and it's a good thing, because if I had known, I probably wouldn't have gone through with it. He had to have it, but I'm not sure I would have been convinced that putting Zac through the trauma of brain surgery was worth it.

From the nose down, Zac looks exactly the same. From the nose up, though, it's pretty scary. They told me a month or so ago that they wouldn't have to mess with his eyes; that his eyes would stay put and his head would kind of flatten. They did fix the alignment of his eyes, though, somewhat. As a result, he's a bit cross-eyed while he makes his eye muscles work to get his eyeballs where they should be.

I can now say, without hesitation, that this has been the single most difficult week of my life. I really thought Zac was a goner on Monday night. Ryan has gone through it in pretty vivid detail, but while Zac was being set up in the ICU, he had what they call a "crash". His blood pressure dropped very, very fast.

Fortunately, babies and small children heal incredibly fast. He's on the mend. In the meantime, I don't plan on taking him out much. He looks a little beat up. We do have a few nice hats, though, courtesy of Ryan's dad.


I've been checking both your site and Ryan's for the last few days just so I could finally read those words: we're home. And thank goodness. Still hoping for the best.

Posted by: Stella at October 17, 2002 08:58 PM

Yay, glad to hear Zac is home! I hope being surrounded by love helps him heal even faster.

Posted by: lisa at October 20, 2002 05:44 PM

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